Effort is sexy, or is it just me?

Effort is DEAD. In my experiences lately on the dating apps or just dating in general, effort is a foreign concept.

I’ll start talking to a seemingly awesome dude, he seems like to be a real catch. For example, this guy was super fun to talk to and he liked to travel like me! He wrote on his bio on his Bumble profile that he had been to all these exotic places. So to me, it’s obvious he’s not lazy and he doesn’t mind adventuring out. Okay cool!  And then it’s revealed that I live in Saint Augustine and he probably lives 30-1 hour away. That’s not far to me. I drive 45 minutes once a week to go to the mall…. my shopping addiction is another story but to me that’s not a bad drive. So, immediately the thought of him driving to take me out on a date is a deal breaker. I even said “So, you’ll go across the world but you won’t drive 45 minutes to meet me?”

His reply? “With all the gas money I save, yep”. I am immediately turned off. But, of course he says if I’m ever on his side of town to let him know. Not happening, bud. Ladies, I might be traditional in this sense but I believe the man should come to the woman on the first date. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s appropriate. So, I had to write this guy off, #sorrynotsorry!

Effort is sexy. I talked to a lovely couple today at work, and her husband surprised her with concert tickets for her favorite band. I thought that was so sweet. And my uncle and aunt when they first started dating lived about 4-5 hours away from each other. He would drive to her EVERY weekend. He told me there’s no excuse, the man should work hard to impress the woman and it shouldn’t even be a thought in the man’s mind. Of course, I wouldn’t mind trading off weekends but in that instance he was explaining to me, If a guy likes you- he will go to great lengths to make sure you are his girl.

I just think in general effort is important, not just in the dating world. If someone comes to visit me at work, or texts me when they think about something that reminds them of me, that means the world to me. So, that’s what I’m looking for in a relationship, effort. You don’t have to drive 5 hours to see me but plan a picnic for us, think of cool things for us to do. “Netflix and chill” is not effort. Actually planning and taking the time to figure out something we both like goes a long way in my book.

Effort is lost. And I hope one day that I can be proven wrong. Until then, I won’t settle for less, you feel me? 🙂

This post might have been a little rant-y but I have some really fun posts coming up. & THANK YOU EVERYONE for all the encouraging words so far! Stay tuned for my next post, it might be sooner than you think 🙂

Thanks for reading!

-Jeri